Saturday, January 8, 2011

Grave Yards

I didn't used to understand graveyards.  I hate to admit that I used to think it was kind of silly.  Then after the loss of my son Jesse I finally gained an understanding of what it is all about.  Graveyards,  and Shrines.  They are a place and way for those who are left behind, have lost a loved one, to create a place to honor and remember the loved one(s) who has passed on.  

It is a place to go and feel close to and communicate with the one(s) you love and miss so much.  Although I know it's not where Jesse is any more,  it is where his body rests,  the body that housed his spirit, his body that I loved to hug,  that laughed and hugged me back.  I like to see the things that his friends bring to his grave to decorate it,  to show their love and respect.  It is a place that we will go as family to be together while we think of Jesse and reflect on his life.  We pray there for peace and comfort for the blessing of having had Jesse in our lives and many other things.  

As I said I have a new understanding and respect for graves and graveyards.  For the mourning process.  When we go to the cemetery now we visit "our neighbors"  most we don't know and some we do know.  As we go and visit our neighbors at the cemetery we reflect on those who have gone on,  of the families left behind and how they must have felt and feel at their loss, and we go and visit the graves of friends who came to the cemetery near the same time that Jesse came.  

It is a totally different experience now.  We still don't have a head stone picked out.  Picking out the right one has been a bigger chore than we realized it would be.  We want it to reflect who Jesse was and is.  We want it to be a place that we can visit and rest when we go there,  a place someone could sit and reflect (not in winter of course) if they wanted to. 

It is a different perspective and understanding that I have now,  now that I'm in a place to understand,  and hopefully my understanding will help those who haven't yet gained their own understanding.

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