Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Some history

Jesse was/is the youngest of 8.  He had 3 older brothers and 4 older sisters.  He was a delight,  always happy and making people laugh.  So many of his teachers told me that same thing.  He had a gift for bring joy and happiness to those around him.  He loved life and made it fun.  He loved who he was.  He was able to carry off the embodiment of a super hero.  He even made himself a superhero costume .... that he gleefully wore and ran around in at school.  He had a superhero name he made up,  Mastoonpa!  I'll add his post from facebook about how he came up with that name.

the genesis of MASTOONPA!

by Jesse Allen on Tuesday, October 6, 2009 at 12:39am

so in mastoonpas brain he was trying to think of a name worthy to behold this EPIC fellow and first mastadon came to mind but mastoonpa recognized that was a bands name so no, then he though mufasa like lion king but mastoonpa could not steal someones name it har to be origonal so with his wizardly cunning he tricked mastadon into running that way and mufassah into running that way and then THEY COLLIDED! *GA_BOOSHFBAVSBKGUD* and as the dust began to settle in the midst of it arose a hero MASTOONPA!!!

    • Jesse Allen mastoonpa = ME!!!
      October 6, 2009 at 12:48am · 
    • Jesse Allen mastoonpa = WIZARD! and he is a class of wizard to rival the greats! such as merlin and dumbldore!
      October 6, 2009 at 12:49am · 
    • Aaron Jolly Okay...this is kinda random...
      October 6, 2009 at 3:45pm · 
    • Jesse Allen hahaha yup it is
      October 6, 2009 at 7:26pm · 
    • Shannon Glines Next thing you know he'll be changing in a telephone booth.
      October 7, 2009 at 3:37pm · 
    • Jesse Allen hahahaha the esteemed mastoonpa need not hide his identity from the world. hahaha if some misguided fool makes an attempt to get a pic of me... his brain will implode... the great mastoonpa need hide from no man, creature or entity... he decimates all BUAHAHAHAHAHA
      October 7, 2009 at 3:40pm · 
    • Shannon Glines Wow..Thats deep. I'm scare now...baha
    • Shannon Glines BTW...Decimation is overrated :p
      October 7, 2009 at 4:27pm · 
    • Jesse Allen hahaha i never said i do it a lot... only those who oppose me, or try to take my picture
      October 7, 2009 at 4:28pm · 
    • Aaron Jolly Haha...
      October 7, 2009 at 8:33pm · 

We knew that Jesse had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy.  A disease that enlarges the heart and  scrambles the heart muscles so that the heart ends up beating irregularly and ineffectively.  Our daughter Glenna was the first one in our family to show symptoms of the disease and when she was finally diagnosed in her senior year of High School we were told that we should have everyone in our family screened for the disease.

We went and took our children who were still living at home to have echo cardiograms done.  We found out that  Dennis, Jesse's father,  Jesse and his older brother Stefen also had the disease.  Jesse was in Jr High, 7th grade when he was first diagnosed.  His cardiologist was more concerned about Jesse because his blood pressure would drop during the stress test part of the testing.  We had just gone in Nov of 2009 for check ups and Stefen and Jesse had halter tests done as well as the other testing.  I wonder now what that test showed ... wonder why an ICD wasn't recommended.  It was hard to hear that such a device could have saved Jesse's life,  a device that Dennis and Stefen now have as a result of Jesse's death.  Does it really need to take a death?

There are so many If's when someone dies.  That was one of the poems I wrote -- Ifs.  All the what ifs and If Only's.

Coming to find peace in this situation has been quite the journey.  I believe that we don't die before our time,  and know that it was the perfect time for Jesse to go .... down to the second of his death,  and still ... it can be so hard in so many ways.  The knowing of the mind doesn't always relieve the suffering of the heart.  We will never not miss Jesse.  He was and continues to be such a bright light in our lives.

Jesse never once complained about not feeling well.  Even when he was having sever trouble.  Maybe he was so convinced of his invincibility .... as so many youth are.  Maybe he was afraid I'd say no .... you can't ... Just a few days before his death he was having trouble that was obvious to some of his siblings,  but I never knew about that until after his death.  More of those what if's ... useless what if's.


  1. I love your blog, Mom!! Your able to say so perfectly what I feel, and what a lot of us are feeling and thinking. Keep writing =) I LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Thank you Glenna!! I love you! I appreciate your support so much!